Pageant Mom


A couple of weeks ago my daughter walked in a runway show in NYC for a fancy designer. I had no idea what I signed her up for but I thought - why not, she loves this stuff. On the day of the event when the time came for us to separate and she went backstage, my heart began racing. A million things ran through my head - one being- she could completely pull rank, fall apart and this could be a disaster. She is 5 years old and if she doesn't want to do something - there is no pony that will alter the course.  

I stood breathless in the audience wondering what the fall out could look like. Then the music changed and out she strutted. My emotions overtook me and I cried shamelessly as she made her runway debut. She beamed at the audience. Her childhood happiness was infectious. 

In that moment I was acutely aware of the gift to be part of this life experience and I was reminded of how fast life changes. 

Anyone who saw me gush with emotion must have either thought me to be a nut or a blubbering pageant mom. But, for me, that day was not about wearing high fashion at a snazzy venue. Instead it was about witnessing my daughter open herself up to new experiences and having the innate courage to move through intimidation and fear. Whether she becomes a fashion maven or rocket scientist isn’t my concern. My only concern is that she has the courage to go boldly towards whatever moves her. That day she did just that. She was fierce. I was there. And it was awesome. 

I floated out of that room that day recognizing the difference a year can make. Last spring I was blocks from this iconic New York venue sitting in an infusion suite, blinded with nausea, plotting ways to get out of my next chemo treatment. But on this day I was with my only daughter, front and center in her life. 

Someday when frustration and doubt get the better part of her confidence, this will be the story that I will recount. I will remind her of her indomitable spirit and determination. But most of all, when I retell this story, she will know that watching her move boldly toward her dream was the most beautiful thing on that stage. And how grateful I was to stand witness. 

#Threekids #OneDog #OneHusband #OneLife

originally posted: May 2017

Adrian Casadasfamily