Don't I Look Great...


Don’t I look great?!?

Ok, hear me out…

I recently hired a social media consultant team as I’m launching a career in media. We go back and forth about pictures, posts and captions. They wanted to post this picture of me half naked on the beach with the caption, “Happy New Year from my family to yours”. Initially I approved it. But within minutes of it being launched into the cybersphere -  I pulled it.

Because it was bullshit.  

What I realized the caption should have read:

“Hey I’m fishing for compliments so if you are up for a comment on my hot little bod, can you please throw me a fire 🔥ball emoji?”

I felt so relieved when I hit the archive button.  

Because I do not identify with bullshit.  

So, let’s back this up into what’s really going on in this photo.  I’m on the divorce diet. Have you heard of it? I have been a full time stay at home for 15 years and now I’m splitting time to be with my kids and sometimes I don’t see them for days. I went from being with them every minute of everyday and now I only have half of their waking hours. I feel like I’ve lost an appendage when I am not with them. It’s the worst thing I have ever experienced and my response is somewhat of a hunger strike.

Why eat if you aren’t feeding people?  It’s all I’ve known for 15 years.  

What lies underneath that tiny bikini… is a broken heart. In this picture there is a mom who is determined to find her way in her “new normal” set of circumstances. A fiercely loyal and loving woman that just wants to lead her brood to higher ground. My appetite is shot as my stomach is in constant knots. I run or do some form of exercise everyday to fight depression, doubt and reckless self talk. So the result of this stress and unwelcome set of circumstances is a slimmer, tighter body. That won’t make for a great self help book — but it’s the truth.

My reality is nowhere near as pretty as this picture would lead you to believe.  

As you scroll through your feeds catching glimpses of everyone’s “perfect pictures”, try to not compare your back-of-house to their highlight reel. Know that everyone is battling something that you know nothing about… and maybe we need to consider that sometimes when people seem to be “fishing for compliments”, they are also masking a broken heart.

Just a thought.

Now I feel better and everyone wins!  The picture is posted and I’ve satisfied my need to be authentic and not add to the chronic, reality-distortion of social media.  But hell… make no mistake.... if you want to tell me how cute I look- I’ll take it. But at the end of the day, it’s your encouragement, support, and endless cheerleading that I value as I chart this new life.

Oh and… “Happy New Year, from my family to yours” ️✌🏼❤️